From relationship to marriage

Actually i never have the confidence, taking good care of someone other than myself. And didn't expect maintaining this relationship for such a long time. Yes we had gone through a lot of problems and arguments these few years. The relationship does not sail smoothly until it became a bit more stable last year. Previously i try best not to mention topics about marriage, personally do not wanna step into that "famous" grave so fast. The grave that will bury my privacy and freedom. Every time when relatives or friends asking, "When are you two going to get married?", i will just give the "still young" reason. I understand the most common problems after marriage are communications with parents-in-law. Well, i mentioned before that i wish that we do not need to stay with his parents. Maybe i'm easy to feel satisfy, as long as i have my own space and privacy.

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And here comes the problem.

My bf's father got sick.

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I have no idea how much life span left for uncle. After his family understand the risk of surgery, they turn to seek temporary medication from Chinese doctor. Temporary as in delay the illness and make it not so painful. My bf was in shocked for few days after knowing the results. I can't look into his eyes, and just giving him hugs all the time.

While they trying to deal with all the details, bf's mother request me to "give tea" to them. Although it wasn't just me alone, including the younger sister's boyfriend, but i was not well prepare for it. Have no idea how i should call them, earnestly. I'm quite a selfish person, not that type of kind and naive one. And i kinda don't like it when his mom keep nagging and trying to take control over me. Seriously my mom don't even nag that much. Ok and here i can foresee the in-laws war. I truly understand that there won't be peace between us, she hope his son will get her some obeying and conservative type of daughter-in-law. I keep reminding my bf that please do not expect me to fulfill what his mom hopes for.

Getting far from the main topic, i can't decide should i give the tea or not. I can only push the decision to my parents, as my bf have to ask permission from them first.

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My mom always tell me that she don't want me to get marry so fast. I wonder what kind of answer she will give to my bf.